My life sucks.
*notice the lack of smilage
(sidenote, do I look like I am 20 yrs old? I think I still look like a 12 yr old)
Yes, its melodramatic, but I don’t care. My chronic daily migraines have returned, I have trash body-image, I alternate bingeing and restricting, I’m having problems setting up doctors appts., and I am alone.
Loneliness is a weird phenomenon. I have friends, I have a good family. I have “good” relationships…and yet I feel so alone. I am Junior in college and am expected to have it all together. Do you know what I did today? Today I woke up at 7:30, went to Mass, came back to my room put on sweats, binged for 2 hrs, and then proceeded to sit on my bed and avoid doing homework all day. I can’t seem to care about my life. It’s a problem. I’m losing weight even with the occasional binges and my therapist (J) is concerned. I don’t know how to get out of this trench of hopelessness and I don’t want to turn to psychological drugs.
Goals for this week:
1. Stay on top of my homework/tests/etc…
2. No bingeing.
3. No being a hermit (try to do one social thing besides class a day)
4. Get back to a daily prayer time.
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